Lipstick & Danger

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Vote Paintball!

The elections are maddening. The suspense of who will cross the finish line and win a new address in Washington D.C. is turning out to be a nail biter. The characters appear to be sincere, caring and determined to make a difference.  They’re quick to point out the short comings of their opponents. Is that a plot, conflict or diversion to keep me watching the mindless chatter of the pundits on television news outlets? Will there be a twist, a surprise ending or unexpected revelation that makes it possible for me to actually turn on the news in the morning?

I say put the candidates on a couple of paintball teams and turn them loose.  Last man standing wins.  Forget the promises, negative ads, and hollow promises.  If you can’t outwit your opponent with a paintball gun you don’t need to be sitting in the Oval Office.  It would  be kind of like the Hunger Games for candidates.  Wouldn’t that be a fun election night? Think of the parties! Soon it would be like the Super Bowl with hilarious commercials, great food and friends wearing their favorite team colors (blue or red).  

If this idea catches on I imagine the look of the candidates will also change.  I’d vote for Daniel Craig.  Okay I know he’s British but he is the best James Bond ever.  Can you imagine that steely eye stare down with Congress when a law needed to be signed or a budget passed.  Or how about Jim Caviezel (Person of Interst).  If he didn’t get people to work together across the aisle he might just pay them a visit in the middle of the night and whisper in their ear, “I don’t like it when politicians don’t play nice.”  

Okay now my imagination is racing.  I’m choosing the cabinet, joint chiefs of staff, the head of the CIA and so on.  Gotta go.  I feel a story coming on.

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